Hear Me Out: The Edit

My new favourite thing to say these days is, “Life is what you make it.”

I started off saying it as a daily affirmation. At first, I was a sceptic. I’d see the talk of “manifestation” on social media and strongly believed that my life relied on my actions, not the things I whispered to myself in the mirror to feel better.

But then, it finally started to dawn on me.

I went back to the basics—that little background of psychology I have from Foundation. It wasn’t just ‘woo-woo’ talk and vibes, there’s a literal science to how repetition builds belief. I realized these affirmations work because of a simple loop: the more you say something, the more you believe it. And when you believe something, you actually start to act on it.

I chose this specific affirmation at a time when I realized I needed to believe it the most.

We go through so many things in life where we have zero control. The loss of a job. The inability to even get a job. The person you love deciding to walk out. Or, in the hardest cases, losing a family member. These things have the capacity to derail you—to make you feel like you have no idea if it’s going to get worse, better, or just stay the same.

For me, that derailing was the entire year of 2024.

I felt like I had control over nothing. I couldn’t land the job I needed, which meant I couldn’t stay in the place I’d called home since I was 16. Then, like that wasn’t bad enough, the person I’d been in love with for what felt like a hundred years was moving away… to my dream city. I just had to laugh. Not because it was funny, but because it was so perfectly cruel. Like was God having a Ha-ha moment with me? Lol.

Where it mattered most, it felt like I had no power over my own happiness. And that fact pissed me off. Like, it really did.

For three months after I moved back home, I was in an extreme depressive state, constantly asking God, “Why is this happening to me?” It seemed like everyone else had their shit figured out while I was stuck in a rut. I’m writing this with a clear head now, but trust and believe it felt like my world was ending. 

Then one day, I was on FaceTime with a friend who said the words that would change everything:

“Sometimes I feel like you want to be sad.”

My initial reaction? “Yeah, this is the LAST time I’m ever calling you.” Knowing myself, I probably said it out loud, too. Lol.

I stared at my screen, contemplating all the different excuses I could say to get off this call and not have to listen to the harsh call-out, but looking at the way I had spent the past few weeks, I realised they were saying exactly what I needed to hear.

And they kept going. 

And as much as that statement annoyed me to bits, I had to admit they were making sense. I was moving like my life was over when, realistically, it had barely started.

Moving back home wasn’t the end of the world. Those rejection emails didn’t mean I’d never land in my dream city. The person I loved moving away didn’t mean I’d never fall in love again.

So what the hell was I being so damn sad for?

That day, my friend reminded me something that I’ve held in my back-pocket ever since: life happens in phases. Whatever you make of the phase you’re in heavily determines what happens next.

Yes, things will happen that are beyond your control. But how you choose to react is 100% on you. If you stay in the “Woe is me” mindset, you end up manifesting it because you’re acting on it subconsciously.

Beyond the classic, “I am enough” or “I attract positivity,” I needed something that spoke to the lack of control I felt.

Life is what you make it.

It’s so simple, yet so powerful. No matter what life throws at you – unexpected heartbreak, grief, or pain – you still have the power to decide how the story ends. You still have the power to control the narrative.

And I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing more self-affirming than that.